How to Use Mindfulness to Achieve More Pleasure In The Bedroom
In this era of multitasking, women strive to be great at everything they do: motherhood, career, wife, partner, etc.
So it’s not surprising that there may come a time in every woman’s life when the best time to run through her weekly “to-do” list is during sex. The blessing and the curse of the modern woman is that she is always on the go and often forgets to enjoy what’s right in front of her. The end result is that the quality of the attention paid to all these tasks is sacrificed.
Sex is not exempt from this behavior. When a woman tells me that she sometimes has difficulties becoming aroused or climaxing during sexual activity, one of the first questions I ask her is: “what’s going through your head while you are being intimate with your partner?” The answer frequently surprises me. It usually has something to do with the home, the finances, the kids, or work. Changes in sexual response can have many causes, but life stressors tend to be a common denominator.
Mindfulness is the practice of focusing one’s attention on the present moment and has its roots in Buddhism.
It allows an individual to pay attention to their current thoughts and sensations without judgment. Mindfulness is often used in behavioral health practices and is used for preventing conditions such as anxiety, stress, depression, and eating disorders. In fact, several research studies have confirmed that practicing mindfulness actually changes the structure of the brain. Scientists have shown that it affects brain areas related to perception, body awareness, emotion regulation, introspection, and sense of self.
When spectatoring occurs during an intimate moment, such as when a woman “steps out” of her own body and evaluates herself or her partner’s response with a feeling of anxiety or self-consciousness, sexual satisfaction suffers. In their research, Silverstein et al. found thatwomen who practiced mindfulness became faster at registering sexual response and had lower anxiety and self-judgment compared to the control group.
In the Setting of Intimacy, Mindfulness Can Be Employed in the Following Way:
Start by tuning out the outside world: lock the bedroom door for privacy, turn off the TV and the cell phones, and turn down the volume on the baby monitor
Create a romantic setting by playing some inspirational music or lighting candles
Focus on your breathing as well as that of your partner’s. Try to breathe in-sync.
It’s totally normal for your mind to wander when you first start practicing mindfulness. That’s ok! Simply refocus by concentrating on your breathing.
Pay attention to how your partner tastes and smells. Notice how their body feels when you touch it.
How do you feel when your partner touches you? It’s ok to have a negative emotion. Acknowledge it and send it on its merry way. Stay focused on the positive.
Mindfulness takes time to master so patience is key. Practicing mindfulness in all aspects of daily life will make it easier to achieve during moments of intimacy. The inner workings of the female brain during sex can be a woman’s best friend or worst enemy. With mindfulness, the brain has the potential to truly become the main sex org