How to Fight Fair When You Feel Like Fighting Dirty

By  ·  @Emily_Webber

We’ve all been there. Your sweetie, although that’s probably not the term of endearment you would use to describe them at the moment, hurts your feelings or makes you so stinkin’ mad you can’t stand it.

 

Fight Issues in Relationships: Here’s How to Manage Fight for a Stronger Relationship

You just want to let them have it! You want to tell them exactly how you feel and use a bunch of expletives like, “You are a @@###!” “You always overreact!” “You never listen to me!”

Arguing and fighting are a normal part of being in a love relationship

Learning to fight in a healthy and classy way is the key to getting your relationship back in love and in balance. Plus, it’s a growth lesson. And, oh, don’t we just love growth lessons!

The key to fighting fair is respect. 

Try These 3 Fight Tactics the Next Time You Want to Jump in the Ring With Your Sweetheart:

1. Say How You Feel Without Blaming Your Mate

You are entitled to your feelings, the good, the bad and the ugly. So own them. They are yours! Start your sentence with, “I feel… instead of “You always…” Using “I” takes responsibility, for your feelings that is, and “You” sounds like an attack. And I promise,if you attack, you will get an attack back. That’s not what you want, is it?

2. Speak in a Tone of Voice That Sounds Like a Grown Up

I get that sometimes it feels good to sound snarky, sarcastic and snitty. It also sounds like a five year old talking. The tone of your voice has the power to calm, sooth and diffuse. Your tone of voice can many times be more effective than your words. So think quieter and softer even though you feel like sounding louder and harsher. Remember you are a grown-up and a lovely person.

3. Say What You Need to Say and Let It Go

Tell your darlin’ how you feel. Tell them what you need and wantOnce. If you keep saying it over and over, your words become a club that feels to them like you are beating them over the head with it. They stop listening and tune you out. So let go of saying, “I can’t believe you…” In fact, I wouldn’t say that it all. It sounds like Mama talking! And nobody wants to be married to their mama!

Here’s a Bonus Tip: Get the words “always” and “never” out of the conversationbecause they are usually not true. No one “never” listens or “always” forgets your anniversary. It just seems that way when you are angry!

If you speak and listen respectfully to each other, even if you are talking about your deepest, darkest feelings, a fight can often be avoided. Fighting is really not that much fun. It just takes something out of you.

If the fight happens anyway, own your part, say you are sorry and open your heartagain. Go back to the love you have for your most important person. It’s worth the try. Your relationship is so worth it and so are you!

If the fight happens anyway, own your part, say you are sorry and open your heartagain. Go back to the love you have for your most important person. It’s worth the try. Your relationship is so worth it and so are you!

https://digitalromanceinc.com/romance/fight-fair-when-feel-like-fighting-dirty/

 

 

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